The Monday ward round after Mother’s Day

I’m not sure why this year was different to any other.

Monday morning, trotting round the patients, medical notes, pulse, blood pressure and temperature, ‘Morning, Maw Broon, how are you?’

What stood out to me was the fact of Mother’s Day cards.

My female patients automatically found themselves in two easily recognisable sub-groups:

i) Those with Mother’s Day cards

ii) Those without

You can subdivide the second group into:

i) Those who have children

ii) Those without

Some patients had multiple cards; no doubt mums with lots of children and grand-children.

I don’t know if this crossed anyone’s mind;

‘Look at Maw over there, she has eight* cards! And I have none.’ Sigh.

Some might argue that they don’t believe in Mother’s Day – it is an invention of the card industry, promoted by supermarkets and flower shops; others are less cynical.

I say it is a test not of the children, but the fathers.

Picture the scene:

Maw (washing the dishes): Don’t bother getting anything for me, I don’t believe in Mother’s Day.

ia) Paw: Eh, alright then.

ib) Paw: Come-on The Bairn, let’s get yer Maw a caird

iia) The Bairn: Maw, I didnae get ye a caird

iib) The Bairn: Maw, here, hae this caird

Do you see where I am coming from?

Maw isn’t going to tell The Bairn to go away; equally, she didn’t expect her to trot down to Smiths all by herself. Paw being a considerate husband, took Bairn, taught her an important lesson, and, established a culture of card-giving on Mothering Sunday.

What to do about my patients who have children, but who never received a card?

I tried to be nice to them. I didn’t big-up those with the cards too much, I thought they had already been rewarded.

Maybe I am over-reaching the whole Broons thing?

* Hen, Joe, Daphne, Maggie, Horace, The Twins, The Bairn