Please sir,
Allow me to rob you of your
Independence;
Psst, over here.
Let me exchange your shirt and tie for this
smock;
Hospital
Pyjamas
avec
bottom
Popping out the rear.
Let me dislodge your confidence,
provide you with
bed-pan
or glide-about
commode;
(Grab-rail/handy-helper/bed-pull, whatever.)
Sippy cup,
and, if you like,
I’ll cut-up your food
Into little squares and feed you.
Relax;
No need to move,
I can press this button and
voila,
You become upright!
I know you say you can do it yourself,
yet,
It will be so much quicker if I do it for you.
Button-up your shirt,
Wash your hands,
Shave those whiskers.
I can do everything.
I don’t realise that my actions are theft.
They remove your ability to act,
They relieve you of
Autonomy,
They create passivity;
exchanged with love.
Sometimes
We love too much,
When our passion for care
Overwhelms our intention to support,
When our obsession with
Protection
Wraps you-up in so much bubble-wrap
That you’re gone,
We have done something wrong.
How do we balance
Encouraging you
To walk through the pain,
to
Manoeuvre in bed
Yourself?
How do we make ourselves,
redundant,
So that you can be
Independent?
A timely reminder ( though I am reading this weeks later ) that I want to enable independence and pursue independence myself.
A get-together with friends , and this verse, have boosted my sense of needing to be independent, and an appreciation of those who are supportive of this.
Further to other posts, The Cut Out Girl by Bart Van Es ( serialised on radio this week ) is recommended – the harrowing story of a Jewish girl taken in by a Dutch couple in WW2, by the couple’s grandson.
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