Belly. Thank you to Denise Lewis and the theory of misattributed causes

It’s funny.

I’ve misled myself for at least three years, probably more.

It all has to do with our sink.

The one in the kitchen where we wash our hands, the dishes and, clean the fruit and veg.

I’d convinced myself there was something wrong with the spout.

The water you see, comes out and always, every time, splashes me. Even with the tap to minimum, it would still spray.

No matter what I was washing or cleaning, the water would gush, and I would end up with a wet patch on my belly.

I never questioned myself why it was me alone in the household who had the propensity to belly splashing, I just assumed it was maybe the way I did things, the angle, the water outlet, or the position of the nozzle.

This all came to a head early this year when during a visit to John Lewis in Leeds, I bought myself a remaindered Christmas apron.

It has pictures of festive animals on it.

My style.

This enabled me to wash, pour or clean and not have to change my t-shirt afterwards.

It was a workaround and one day, I planned to get new taps for the kitchen.

We almost did this not long ago on a visit to B&Q. £150 for a new version of the same old thing.

We didn’t. I couldn’t work out how I would do the plumbing.

Now, before I go on and describe recent events, I will take us back in time to a blog I wrote a few years ago. (Here is is).

It was about Levocetirizine.

You might have heard of Cetirizine.

It is a common antihistamine, non-sedating.

A few years ago, following a consultation with my GP I was prescribed Levocetirizine, ‘Here, try these new antihistamines. They don’t sedate!’

I was delighted, hoping that my rhinitis would disappear.

This was when I was living in North Sheffield and working in Doncaster, which means, 10 years or so.

The drive from home to work was about 45 minutes on the motorway.

I had a grey Skoda Octavia at the time.

Anyway, soon after starting the medicine, I found myself, usually on the way home in the evening, knackered, yawning at the wheel.

I assumed it was the work, young children, the drive.

All of this led me to having to find a layby for a quick nap.

I didn’t get it.

I thought I might have something wrong with my health, an underactive thyroid or something worse.

The naps continued.

Only eventually did I realise that the non-sedating antihistamine was knocking me out.

These antihistamines work by having a molecular structure that prevents them crossing the blood-brain-barrier (BBB). In other words, all antihistamines are sedating if they get in your brain, this variety weren’t meant to get in your brain. My doctor said so.

Maybe I have a leaky or too porous BBB.

I stopped the tablets.

I still had a runny nose anyway. And my drowsiness vanished.

Not sure if you see the parallel?

Eight weeks ago, I decided to get fit.

I began the Couch to 5K programme.

I am up to running for 25 minutes which is fantastic, given my age.

20 years ago, I could run for four hours without tiring. Now I am at 25 minutes.

Well,

With the running has come something else.

I’ve lost weight.

Down 7 Kg so far.

This I think is a lot.

Weight itself isn’t important.

What has also happened is that my belly has shrunk.

And guess what? No splashing.

Clean dishes, running water and no wet.

Yes.

It wasn’t the tap.

It was me.

I was too fat to use a basic household appliance.

I had blamed the tap.

I can now put the apron away.

Isn’t it funny the way we sometimes attribute effects to causes that turn out to be wide of the mark?

People do this every day.

It is at the core of being human.

‘Life is hard, I don’t have enough cash… Blame the immigrants’ (not)

‘The cost of fuel! It’s the Russians’ (shouldn’t we be using less fuel anyway?)

‘Gun crime… it’s the videogame makers’ (sigh)

‘I was fired for not doing my job… It’s the Europeans’ (yes, yes)

‘That annoying cough, I need more Salbutamol’ (not again)

And so on.

Perhaps not the best examples.

Nietzsche referred to the notion of ‘human all too human’ Yes, me and everyone else.

Have a good weekend.