…if I don’t have that additional jam sandwich I might be in trouble.
The pressures, whether overt or not, the unreasonable demands, the pushing, pulling, bullying and intimidation inherent in many workplaces or the uncertainty of tomorrow, the zero-hours tightrope, all make us human, fragile.
I don’t know what aquatic life is in Manvers, hopefully I won’t catch elvers, velvet or whatever the disease.
The butterfly beats its wings, and we are all prisoners of time.
Is the recession upon us? What I think about my tortoise, what do they think about me?
Sure, some readers will think, ‘Honestly, this isn’t nannyworld, people have some responsibility, they should use their common sense.’
Death – tradition – Jewishness – family – education – self-consciousness
I brought-up Bob when explaining to my colleagues the meaning of ‘happy accident’ – I was being flippant although the context was not.
Rod reflects on the interface between anxiety and a long-line of Jewish ancestors.
My mind has been in a Japanese meta-reality rather than on Wong Lane
‘When will I receive my Covid booster?’ Asks patient Annie, 98, unable to leave her house for the past three years.
‘We are working-our way round,’ Says the doctor.
At different times I feel I am closer to gaining an understanding, at others, I have never been further away.
I popped into Tesco yesterday; there was no pasta on the shelves (no petrol in the pump either).
I worry that I might not have enough time to complete all the work I have planned on Monday prior to the deadline when I will be asked to present the results of the…
the back wings
Anyone who has spent much time in hospital will recognise the phenomenon of the invisible patient.
Me and my dog and silence.
Silence is sometimes needed to re-charge.
And yet, Freda is gone and I never really said hello.
We lapsed into singing The Automatic’s ‘What’s that coming over the hill, Is it a Rabbi…”
People say there are more bacteria in our gut than cells in our body; I am not sure how true this is – I don’t think I am ready to say I am faeces.
The weather has changed; yesterday we were basking in too-hot sun, today, the wind and clouds have gathered.
You will note this is the opposite of ‘There is no bus to Upton, you are 93, you have dementia, you are in hospital’ approach, which is likely only to worsen the anxiety.
I had become more relaxed; I was taking her on longer walks. My demeanour had settled into something less than fraught.
For someone who has dementia and, as previously described, there isn’t ‘dementia’ but infinite individual variations based upon the person’s life history, experience, physiology and, well, pathology.
Richard Feynman – a physicist considered amongst the greatest minds of his generation (also a crazy bongo-player, linguist and lock-picker)
‘Did you realise that every time you walk in the room all the staff are on alert, waiting for you to criticise, pick-on or otherwise attack them?’
For years after I got up in the morning she would hop on to my bed and curl up on my still warm, vacant spot.
I saw Kingfisher this morning
your being-ness will
In your place
He was solid, tall,
wearing an orange jumpsuit.
And the thing about this serial nature – it is not actually a limitation or a curse, it is our salvation.
Earlier today, I was writing about High Definition TV and my thoughts relating to the potential harm it is doing to our senses. Within that blog I mentioned nostalgia. (Here is a separate blog specifically on that subject). The day before I referred to the title of a book of poems by Jack Kerouac –Continue reading “Mind wandering & etc.”
Bruce Lee called Jeet Kune Do the art of expressing the human body.
Those Angry Young Men, one day they’ll learn, they will eventually see the light and become more like me – they will die a little inside;
“Into a soul absolutely free from thoughts and emotion, even the tiger finds no room to insert its fierce claws.” You can interpret this as you like. Today, I will take it like this… You could be perfect; a flower, a petal, a sunrise – everything in its allocated position, like soldiers lined-up for report.Continue reading “Tao”
I still haven’t accepted the standard of not writing clinic or outpatient letters to patients, or at the very least copying them into the correspondence. e.g. Dear Mr J, Thank you for attending my clinic this afternoon. It was a pleasure to meet you and… Here is an example: Dear Dr Mulberry I saw yourContinue reading “My medical record…”
Well, a few things; probably. Lesson one: This first one won’t apply to everyone, although, if like me you are in middle-age clutter, at times overwhelmed by too much, consider daily reduction. Every day get rid of one thing, item of clothing, utensil, book you no longer need – reduce, reuse and recycle. This shouldContinue reading “What did yesterday teach me?”
I won’t expand on the place of introverts and extraverts; I always imagined that computers would prefer peace and quiet to bombast.
I’ve written before about our local pond; mostly my observations about ducks and their offspring, oh, and there was the slightly ungainly goose I named Ewan. There isn’t much to it; a round of tired concrete, a few benches with surrounding cherry and sycamores. Old folk sit, the ice-cream man visits at weekends when theContinue reading “Bread”
If I have told you once I have told you 106 times. Here, Look at this detail, It is significant! relevant! שים לב Point your heart here. …I know you laugh, You and your crew; Mocking my attention to detail, My scrupulousness, The meticulous aspect of my everyday Life. I am the microcosm Without which NothingContinue reading “Now.”
My teacher Naomi,
One of the most incredible people I have ever known;
She was artist and scientist,
The past and the present are one –
Just, as Kurt says in his great book.
It is the way we teach people to blindly follow protocols, pathways and guidance; it is what makes the nurse challenge my wearing a watch but miss all the dirt on the floor or the nurses not washing their hands; it is, to quote Master Lee, staring at the finger and missing the heavenly glory.
Now, this is going to be a tricky one. This is because, it is part confession, with a little pre and post-hoc rationalisation. Are you intrigued? I may as well just jump-in, like you do at the Lido, head-first, only concern that your heart might stop. Now, I feel it is OK to come-clean aboutContinue reading “Immature”
(When was the last time anyone checked the dirt level of an NHS keyboard)(Oops, should have said that – the snap response there is sometimes keyboard-condom rather than ‘clean the thing’ the former making touch-typing a nightmare)(when you do get to type, rather than write, which is a mixed-methods form of data collection, common in the health service).
This is me. Who I am. the top and bottom back and front. My One Page Profile. Me. I so often hover in the periphery not wanting to upset the cart, worrying about the ripples I risk creating. That is to say… This is what I think… and believe Is something I only really doContinue reading “Open, honest and revealing.”
…this of course doesn’t mean that you won’t be the sucker to die on the tablet, you are just less likely.
(lots of references!)
My mind wanders Like Papa-fly Stuttering across a Window. Stop- Start. Unpredictable Meandering. Illogical Connections That tie one moment To the next. Psychic Tag. When I was a kid They used to play Jew-bug; This meant That you would infect person A with person B’s bug. Anti-Semitic Contagion. Continue reading “Mind-wandering”
There was a strange moment; it must have lasted all of half a second; walking through Green Park in London, watching the cherry blossom fall, the pigeons peck. A man in his late thirties, trim, short, cropped hair, he shouts as his daughter, ‘Come here, this minute!’ only, he is talking in Hebrew. You see,Continue reading “Eye contact”
Rod’s Blogs, Poems, etc. Table of Contents I search for meaning. 6 ‘Behavioural’ 8 10 Years. 10 10 years. 11 99+. 13 1559 days. 15 A response to Henry. 17 A tale of two times?. 18 Acute. 20 Advance Care Plan, Human Rights & I want what I want 23 alea iacta est 25 AllContinue reading “Blogs, Poems, etc 2017”
Leaving blue-tits to one side and, getting back to my main focus… A frequent question I ask my patients, usually when trying to establish their orientation, but also to clarify their understanding of the situation, is, ‘Do you know why you are here?’ I leave the question purposefully vague – ‘here’ – where is here?Continue reading “Why are you here?”
Picture the scene. Winter. You are walking through a field, perhaps an overgrown patch of land that hasn’t been tended for years and, in your hand are a few dozen seeds. Mixed variety, some flowers, others fruit, grass, it doesn’t really matter. And, as you walk, you scatter the seeds, randomly. Some will fall onContinue reading “Seeds.”
Everyone accepts that things happen fast nowadays. Yet, some aspects of life can’t be sped-up; indeed, any attempt to cut-corners or accelerate the process usually has negative consequences… hangry, tired, listless – readmission. No matter the speed, the turning-over of activity, there is a certain bandwidth that is constant; walking, driving, peeing. The media –Continue reading “Speed”
You hear this term all the time nowadays, at least, if you work in an NHS hospital, are an inpatient or carer or relative of someone who is occupying a hospital bed. Most often… Are they medically fit? When will they be medically fit? If they are medically fit, have you done the take-home medicines?Continue reading “Medically fit – today and tomorrow (3)”
You can’t lie in the same hospital bed for more than the average length of stay which in your case, for your disease, disorder or condition is 3.76 days.
On Friday, I attended an event where I learned about the Perfect Patient Pathway – I will call it PPP, or perhaps 3P for short, as it is a little bit of a mouthful, although entertaining in an alliterative sort of way. The event, run by the Good Things Foundation focused on examining the waysContinue reading “The Perfect Patient Pathway?*”
Costa person one, ‘We’d better tell the continuous improvement team about that.’
Today I gained a further insight into the workings of hierarchy and patient safety. On the ward-round we were discussing a variety of topics; From this, as often happens we talked about one of my recent blogs, in fact, the one about the two old men, who yesterday became one, when Len (not his realContinue reading “You made a mistake, dare I say…”
I thought it an odd way for someone to explain, ‘This is how we do it,’ but, there you go – within a short few years that person had become a victim of the system themselves.
If you look back on a century ago, or moving further, a millennium, it is incredible to consider the changes in society. I realised yesterday that it is nearly 100 years since the October Revolution. If you subtract 1000 years, you are in 1017 – the Battle of Hastings was yet to come. And, whatContinue reading “What we know/humility”
His autonomy was not violated. We reached a conclusion that avoided any crossing of boundaries between care and carer.
Yes, it is a topsy-turvy world, one of contradictions, complications, improvement and innovation.
Last year, it was, I drove past your flat. I don’t know, you might not have been in. My intention had been to visit, To say hello, See how you were doing, Likely, try my best to hide my feelings, reveal the inevitable changes; thinning of skin and hair, duskiness of eye. LossContinue reading “G46”
All there is is the moment. Now. Plan ahead by all means, leaf through photos, But, Only now. Pain in the present, Happiness, Fear. Worry is corrosive but, usually about future or past events – did I, will I, should, could I? You die in the moment and are born into theContinue reading “Moment”
It would have been yesterday were it not for the bank holiday. Out with Maisie; Black bins and green boxes lining the streets ready for collection. My own black bag, morning gift from doggie; do I or don’t I? fortnightly when the men come to take away our stuff – rubbish, detritus, waste, I encounterContinue reading “Do you, or don’t you? (for dog walkers)”
The moment that is now when you can reach-out and touch is sometimes the best of times and more valuable than a thousand saved-up tomorrows
To learn you need to go towards that which you like least; It is no good sitting in comfort. If you like the summer, pursue the winter, If the light is your preference, Go to the darkness. Growth can only occur through a connection with the unfamiliar the strange, that takes us away fromContinue reading “To learn”
Cartier-Bresson’s Decisive Moment, my patients falling, examining life and projecting forwards.
Enjoy the ephemeral.
Now… I was ear-wigging this morning. I know it is a bad habit, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself. I had been called to see a patient on the surgical ward – an old woman & when I say ‘old’ (rather than ‘older’) – I am justified this time; she was 100. I wasContinue reading “Obese appendix”
I could probably kill two birds with one stone by getting rid of my breakfast routine and spending the time doing 10 minutes’ mindfulness.
if you choose to follow this path in life, without basing your actions on, I guess, vocation, you are in trouble
Slow down, be mindful, respect your elders, respect your knees & don’t mess too much with your hair!
So long as you are still able to participate, join-in with the conversation, your perception of self is just as valid as that of the doctor or nurse.
This I imagine is worldview mixed with upbringing, culture and something else; in cookery, this would be the Umami.
And so, back to the junior doctors –
Back to the cyclists and my standing on the kerbside with my dog.
Unless I am 100% sure that it is the left kidney, surely I should ask before I remove the wrong one, or prescribe the wrong medicine or convey the wrong information.
It could be that the Puff did indeed have some components of shellfish – a scraping of some Umami residue perhaps and the person is heading rapidly into anaphylaxis