Mindfulness – Dr Rod’s Odd Blog (almondemotion)

Mindful

I go to Iceland. Box breathing; trapped. tomorrow I take to the water.

Black Swan

Moments with my daughter,
reflecting
on growth and change.

Revelation #1 & the day I was kicked-out of Waitrose

If my mind is stolen,

and I acquire a Union Jack tattoo, you will know the experiment was a failure.

The promise of the object is more powerful than the object itself

…if I don’t have that additional jam sandwich I might be in trouble.

The pressures, whether overt or not, the unreasonable demands, the pushing, pulling, bullying and intimidation inherent in many workplaces or the uncertainty of tomorrow, the zero-hours tightrope, all make us human, fragile.

Open water swim and the bite of the pike

I don’t know what aquatic life is in Manvers, hopefully I won’t catch elvers, velvet or whatever the disease.

Nao and Zen, Time Beings and a regret for the inevitable

The butterfly beats its wings, and we are all prisoners of time.

Free-association, mind-wandering, existential worries, and Yoda’s gender

Is the recession upon us? What I think about my tortoise, what do they think about me?

Safety netting – to net or not?

Sure, some readers will think, ‘Honestly, this isn’t nannyworld, people have some responsibility, they should use their common sense.’

Boxing day reflection

Death – tradition – Jewishness – family – education – self-consciousness

Bob Ross, Happy and Unhappy accidents (healthcare and filler-TV)

I brought-up Bob when explaining to my colleagues the meaning of ‘happy accident’ – I was being flippant although the context was not.

Anxious Jew

Rod reflects on the interface between anxiety and a long-line of Jewish ancestors.

Thinking mindful – geriatrician asks his followers to ‘get high’

My mind has been in a Japanese meta-reality rather than on Wong Lane

It’s worse than it’s ever been. Just kidding… Not.

‘When will I receive my Covid booster?’ Asks patient Annie, 98, unable to leave her house for the past three years.

‘We are working-our way round,’ Says the doctor.

Tell Me Why.

At different times I feel I am closer to gaining an understanding, at others, I have never been further away.

A Grand Unified Theory of Nowt

I popped into Tesco yesterday; there was no pasta on the shelves (no petrol in the pump either).

The default mind network, flow and magic mushrooms

I worry that I might not have enough time to complete all the work I have planned on Monday prior to the deadline when I will be asked to present the results of the…

To what extent has Covid damaged medicine?

the back wings
of the

hospital where
nothing

will grow…

What matters.

Anyone who has spent much time in hospital will recognise the phenomenon of the invisible patient.

Safe in heaven. Thank you Freda.

Me and my dog and silence.

Silence is sometimes needed to re-charge.

And yet, Freda is gone and I never really said hello.

Ah cannae hear you.

We lapsed into singing The Automatic’s ‘What’s that coming over the hill, Is it a Rabbi…”

Covid patients

People say there are more bacteria in our gut than cells in our body; I am not sure how true this is – I don’t think I am ready to say I am faeces.

The last big weekend of the Lockdown*

The weather has changed; yesterday we were basking in too-hot sun, today, the wind and clouds have gathered.

Metrodome Part 2 – agitation in Alzheimer’s disease. (Words and the complex nature of a problem)

You will note this is the opposite of ‘There is no bus to Upton, you are 93, you have dementia, you are in hospital’ approach, which is likely only to worsen the anxiety.

Happy

I had become more relaxed; I was taking her on longer walks. My demeanour had settled into something less than fraught.

Overthink (2)

For someone who has dementia and, as previously described, there isn’t ‘dementia’ but infinite individual variations based upon the person’s life history, experience, physiology and, well, pathology.

Purposeful Practice and an agreement to disagree

Richard Feynman – a physicist considered amongst the greatest minds of his generation (also a crazy bongo-player, linguist and lock-picker)

Insight and polite surgeons (P&Q’s)

‘Did you realise that every time you walk in the room all the staff are on alert, waiting for you to criticise, pick-on or otherwise attack them?’

Stress

For years after I got up in the morning she would hop on to my bed and curl up on my still warm, vacant spot.

Kingfisher

I saw Kingfisher this morning

precarious

your being-ness will

delete,

invert,

and,

In your place

another.

Dog (in winter)

He was solid, tall,

wearing an orange jumpsuit.

One thing at a time.

And the thing about this serial nature – it is not actually a limitation or a curse, it is our salvation.

Mind wandering & etc.

Earlier today, I was writing about High Definition TV and my thoughts relating to the potential harm it is doing to our senses. Within that blog I mentioned nostalgia. (Here is a separate blog specifically on that subject). The day before I referred to the title of a book of poems by Jack Kerouac –Continue reading “Mind wandering & etc.”

Inevitable

Bruce Lee called Jeet Kune Do the art of expressing the human body.

On their phones

Those Angry Young Men, one day they’ll learn, they will eventually see the light and become more like me – they will die a little inside;

Tao

“Into a soul absolutely free from thoughts and emotion, even the tiger finds no room to insert its fierce claws.” You can interpret this as you like. Today, I will take it like this… You could be perfect; a flower, a petal, a sunrise – everything in its allocated position, like soldiers lined-up for report.Continue reading “Tao”

My medical record…

I still haven’t accepted the standard of not writing clinic or outpatient letters to patients, or at the very least copying them into the correspondence. e.g. Dear Mr J, Thank you for attending my clinic this afternoon. It was a pleasure to meet you and… Here is an example: Dear Dr Mulberry I saw yourContinue reading “My medical record…”

What did yesterday teach me?

Well, a few things; probably. Lesson one: This first one won’t apply to everyone, although, if like me you are in middle-age clutter, at times overwhelmed by too much, consider daily reduction. Every day get rid of one thing, item of clothing, utensil, book you no longer need – reduce, reuse and recycle. This shouldContinue reading “What did yesterday teach me?”

Thinking, feeling, disunity.

I won’t expand on the place of introverts and extraverts; I always imagined that computers would prefer peace and quiet to bombast.

Bread

I’ve written before about our local pond; mostly my observations about ducks and their offspring, oh, and there was the slightly ungainly goose I named Ewan. There isn’t much to it; a round of tired concrete, a few benches with surrounding cherry and sycamores. Old folk sit, the ice-cream man visits at weekends when theContinue reading “Bread”

Now.

If I have told you once I have told you 106 times. Here, Look at this detail, It is significant! relevant! שים לב Point your heart here. …I know you laugh, You and your crew; Mocking my attention to detail, My scrupulousness, The meticulous aspect of my everyday Life. I am the microcosm Without which NothingContinue reading “Now.”

Yesterday I didn’t blag

My teacher Naomi,

One of the most incredible people I have ever known;

She was artist and scientist,

Mother,

Thinker,

Philosopher

And friend.

Yoda (Yehudit?)

The past and the present are one –

Just, as Kurt says in his great book.

Mindless medicine

It is the way we teach people to blindly follow protocols, pathways and guidance; it is what makes the nurse challenge my wearing a watch but miss all the dirt on the floor or the nurses not washing their hands; it is, to quote Master Lee, staring at the finger and missing the heavenly glory.

Immature

Now, this is going to be a tricky one. This is because, it is part confession, with a little pre and post-hoc rationalisation. Are you intrigued? I may as well just jump-in, like you do at the Lido, head-first, only concern that your heart might stop. Now, I feel it is OK to come-clean aboutContinue reading “Immature”

Watch it…

(When was the last time anyone checked the dirt level of an NHS keyboard)(Oops, should have said that – the snap response there is sometimes keyboard-condom rather than ‘clean the thing’ the former making touch-typing a nightmare)(when you do get to type, rather than write, which is a mixed-methods form of data collection, common in the health service).

Open, honest and revealing.

This is me. Who I am. the top and bottom back and front. My One Page Profile. Me. I so often hover in the periphery not wanting to upset the cart, worrying about the ripples I risk creating. That is to say… This is what I think… and believe Is something I only really doContinue reading “Open, honest and revealing.”

Fake news, the NHS and Middle East

…this of course doesn’t mean that you won’t be the sucker to die on the tablet, you are just less likely.
(lots of references!)

Mind-wandering

My mind wanders Like Papa-fly Stuttering across a Window. Stop- Start. Unpredictable Meandering. Illogical Connections That tie one moment To the next. Psychic Tag. When I was a kid They used to play Jew-bug; This meant That you would infect person A with person B’s bug. Anti-Semitic Contagion. Continue reading “Mind-wandering”

Eye contact

There was a strange moment; it must have lasted all of half a second; walking through Green Park in London, watching the cherry blossom fall, the pigeons peck. A man in his late thirties, trim, short, cropped hair, he shouts as his daughter, ‘Come here, this minute!’ only, he is talking in Hebrew. You see,Continue reading “Eye contact”

Blogs, Poems, etc 2017

Rod’s Blogs, Poems, etc. Table of Contents I search for meaning. 6 ‘Behavioural’ 8 10 Years. 10 10 years. 11 99+. 13 1559 days. 15 A response to Henry. 17 A tale of two times?. 18 Acute. 20 Advance Care Plan, Human Rights & I want what I want 23 alea iacta est 25 AllContinue reading “Blogs, Poems, etc 2017”

Why are you here?

Leaving blue-tits to one side and, getting back to my main focus… A frequent question I ask my patients, usually when trying to establish their orientation, but also to clarify their understanding of the situation, is, ‘Do you know why you are here?’ I leave the question purposefully vague – ‘here’ – where is here?Continue reading “Why are you here?”

Seeds.

Picture the scene. Winter. You are walking through a field, perhaps an overgrown patch of land that hasn’t been tended for years and, in your hand are a few dozen seeds. Mixed variety, some flowers, others fruit, grass, it doesn’t really matter. And, as you walk, you scatter the seeds, randomly. Some will fall onContinue reading “Seeds.”

Speed

Everyone accepts that things happen fast nowadays. Yet, some aspects of life can’t be sped-up; indeed, any attempt to cut-corners or accelerate the process usually has negative consequences… hangry, tired, listless – readmission. No matter the speed, the turning-over of activity, there is a certain bandwidth that is constant; walking, driving, peeing. The media –Continue reading “Speed”

Medically fit – today and tomorrow (3)

You hear this term all the time nowadays, at least, if you work in an NHS hospital, are an inpatient or carer or relative of someone who is occupying a hospital bed. Most often… Are they medically fit? When will they be medically fit? If they are medically fit, have you done the take-home medicines?Continue reading “Medically fit – today and tomorrow (3)”

Acute

You can’t lie in the same hospital bed for more than the average length of stay which in your case, for your disease, disorder or condition is 3.76 days.

The Perfect Patient Pathway?*

On Friday, I attended an event where I learned about the Perfect Patient Pathway – I will call it PPP, or perhaps 3P for short, as it is a little bit of a mouthful, although entertaining in an alliterative sort of way. The event, run by the Good Things Foundation focused on examining the waysContinue reading “The Perfect Patient Pathway?*”

And the award goes to…

Costa person one, ‘We’d better tell the continuous improvement team about that.’

You made a mistake, dare I say…

Today I gained a further insight into the workings of hierarchy and patient safety. On the ward-round we were discussing a variety of topics; From this, as often happens we talked about one of my recent blogs, in fact, the one about the two old men, who yesterday became one, when Len (not his realContinue reading “You made a mistake, dare I say…”

The Death of Stalin

I thought it an odd way for someone to explain, ‘This is how we do it,’ but, there you go – within a short few years that person had become a victim of the system themselves.

What we know/humility

If you look back on a century ago, or moving further, a millennium, it is incredible to consider the changes in society. I realised yesterday that it is nearly 100 years since the October Revolution. If you subtract 1000 years, you are in 1017 – the Battle of Hastings was yet to come. And, whatContinue reading “What we know/humility”

Disaster avoided (2)

His autonomy was not violated. We reached a conclusion that avoided any crossing of boundaries between care and carer.

The pain of homecoming…

Yes, it is a topsy-turvy world, one of contradictions, complications, improvement and innovation.

G46

Last year, it was, I drove past your flat. I don’t know, you might not have been in. My intention had been to visit, To say hello, See how you were doing, Likely, try my best to hide my feelings, reveal the inevitable changes; thinning of skin and hair, duskiness of eye. LossContinue reading “G46”

Moment

All there is is the moment. Now. Plan ahead by all means, leaf through photos, But, Only now. Pain in the present, Happiness, Fear. Worry is corrosive but, usually about future or past events – did I, will I, should, could I? You die in the moment and are born into theContinue reading “Moment”

Do you, or don’t you? (for dog walkers)

It would have been yesterday were it not for the bank holiday. Out with Maisie; Black bins and green boxes lining the streets ready for collection. My own black bag, morning gift from doggie; do I or don’t I? fortnightly when the men come to take away our stuff – rubbish, detritus, waste, I encounterContinue reading “Do you, or don’t you? (for dog walkers)”

Now

The moment that is now when you can reach-out and touch is sometimes the best of times and more valuable than a thousand saved-up tomorrows

Eclipse

architect

designer

Menorah Maker

To learn

To learn you need to go towards that which you like least; It is no good sitting in comfort. If you like the summer, pursue the winter, If the light is your preference, Go to the darkness. Growth can only occur through a connection with the unfamiliar the strange, that takes us away fromContinue reading “To learn”

Decisive Moment

Cartier-Bresson’s Decisive Moment, my patients falling, examining life and projecting forwards.

Forward and Back

Enjoy the ephemeral.

Obese appendix

Now… I was ear-wigging this morning. I know it is a bad habit, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself. I had been called to see a patient on the surgical ward – an old woman & when I say ‘old’ (rather than ‘older’) – I am justified this time; she was 100. I wasContinue reading “Obese appendix”